talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
