I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize