She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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