I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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