That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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