Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
