i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
