bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
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