Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
