apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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