Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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