I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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