Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize