I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
