I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
