so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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