Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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