You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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