I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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