his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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