you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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