Umm I'm too high to move.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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