IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
