i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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