I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
My liver just broke up with me...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
