This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
