the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize
