I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
