If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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