Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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