There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
nutella sex= disaster
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It's no shave November. This is our time.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
