why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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