It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
