it wasn't lemon gatorade
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
