I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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