If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
