She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
