Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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