I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
