I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
