I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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