If i could tip my vagina, i would.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize