there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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