I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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