I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
