I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
