EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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