hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
