were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
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Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
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The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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