I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Randomize
