Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
