THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Just high enough for therapy.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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