I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Can I color on your dick again?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
