it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Randomize
