Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
