She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize