I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
This is the high leading the old right now
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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