So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
