Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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