Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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