New invention idea: vibrating tampons
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
