woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Randomize
