He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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