does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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