I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
