i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
