therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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