I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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