We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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