your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
